Coming back from being broken.. …
This year I decided to focus on rebuilding myself after years of ignoring exhaustion, stress, loss and disappointment. Overtime, unaware of it, I was losing a lot of confidence and feelings of self worth and so I retreated. I needed to repair, rebuild myself and consider my future. I wrote my book and let go of (for a while) the dream I have of The Business Cafe and decided to stop pushing.
Living for income is very different to building an asset. Building a business on the scale that I want to build The Business Cafe is a huge entrepreneurial dream, a follow on from the dream I had of Ecademy. Pushing had got me to the point of clinical exhaustion. 20 years of pushing in business is no walk in the park.
November 30th 2018 gave me a shock, one I clearly needed. My clinically scary moment of hallucinations and exhaustion beyond the norm. This week was a stunning week for me and I am so grateful to the companies and individuals that I coached, spoke for at events and met. The Board of The Royal Mail, BT Senior Executives and Women within the organisation, Intuit, and many tiny business’ they all contributed to a ‘whole me’.
#iamback is how I felt when I woke this morning. The pictures I show on this post represent a special day in my life with BT this week, and it is all thanks to a young lady called Georgia Manning who asked me to speak at the BT/EE event for women. She had no idea of the impact she would make for me, but hopefully she does know now.
Being validated is something I write about in my book, a basic human need that we all seek. Sadly, too often we seek it from social media and from strangers. Real validation is when you know you are having impact and you feel it face to face, in the real world.
I am aware that there will be more moments of worthlessness and declines in confidence, however, and it is a big however. The things I learned this year from some amazing people (all mentioned in my book) is how to accept, how to protect and how to lead the life I want
.. So, this picture is not shared on social media (facebook, Insta and here) to make me seem big or make anyone feel small. They are actually there to represent that you can be broken and repair. And when you repair, you are more whole than you have ever been.