By Penny Power – Business Author & Human-Centred Speaker
This week, I’ve been thinking about something quietly shaping our culture…
something subtle, yet deeply powerful…
The rise of individualism.
Not individuality, that’s healthy.
But individualism, the belief that needing less from others is strength, and protecting ourselves at all costs is wisdom.
I see this growing everywhere. While it is often framed as empowerment, I believe it is creating emotional distance, fractured relationships, and a society that feels lonelier than ever. Driven through not really knowing whether we matter to anyone.
But are we actually creating this reality ourselves?
1. Boundaries, A Word I Only Knew as a Fence
I still remember the first time someone told me, “Penny, you need boundaries.”
I genuinely thought they meant garden fences. It was a new concept for me aged 54, that I was allowed to protect my time, my energy, my heart. And boundaries are important. They help us stay centred and safe.
But somewhere along the way, boundaries have become taller, thicker, reinforced with iron gates. They can become so rigid that nobody can reach us, and we end up mistaking emotional walls for emotional wellbeing.
Healthy boundaries create connection. Unhealthy ones create isolation.
2. “Let Them” – Freedom or Distance?
Last year I came across the book Let Them, with its message:
“Free yourself from the exhausting cycle of trying to manage everyone around you.”
There is truth in that. We exhaust ourselves by over-controlling, over-helping, over-caring.
But I wonder… when we apply “Let Them” too literally, do we risk abandoning relationships that require compassion? Do we begin to detach instead of deepen?
Do we lose the beautiful messy complexity of human connection because it feels easier to step back than lean in?
3. “Selfish” is this Liberation or Isolation?
Another book rising up the charts: Selfish. Its message:
“embrace selfishness as a way to break the cycle of overwork and pressure”.
Again, there is truth here. But I worry about a cultural swing too far the other way.
When “selfish” becomes a virtue, and “together” becomes a burden, we risk starving ourselves of the very thing we need most, each other.
4. Stoicism. A strength or a weakness?
Such a celebration of this word now, in books, in passing comments about others. People say ‘they are so stoic’, seen as a strength. Yes, at times we must be stoic, we must have that ‘stiff upper lip’ but not with everyone.
There is no doubt that when we have close, deep, meaningful relationships life feels so good. We feel held. Through tough times, someone will reach out to us proactively and remember that you are dealing with pain, transformation, grief. They will celebrate a special moment with you. You feel held in life when things are tough.
These types of relationships are created through deep contribution with each other. Two people, knowing the good, bad and ugly in your life and you in theirs.
So why the rise in Boundaries, ‘Selfish’, ‘Let Them’ and Stoicism?
Because people are exhausted.
Because life feels overwhelming.
Because connection requires vulnerability
Because it takes two to create love and a deep relationship
Because it takes time
These books I refer to, ‘Let Them’ and ‘Selfish’, are a response to emotional burn out, or perhaps strong voices that change mindsets, behaviours and therefore cultures.
Burnout is healed through community, through time with someone, through shared load, through being seen.
Individualism promises freedom… but it delivers loneliness.
Togetherness requires effort… but it delivers belonging.
I truly believe the greatest emotional danger of our time is the belief that we should do life alone.
Humans were never meant to be self-contained. We are wired for co-regulation, for companionship, for shared meaning, for circles of safety where we matter to one another.
So this week, I invite you to ponder:
✨ Are your boundaries protecting you…or disconnecting you?
✨ Where have you replaced healthy autonomy with emotional withdrawal?
✨ Who could you let into your world again, gently, slowly, bravely?
✨ And how might your life feel if you stepped back toward togetherness?
Because no book, no theory, no trend will ever replace the deep truth:
We heal in community.
We grow through connection.
And we thrive when we let ourselves belong.
With love,
Penny x
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