By Penny Power – Business Author & Human-Centred Speaker
This week I’ve been thinking about frogs.
There’s a metaphor that says if you drop a frog into boiling water, it will leap out immediately. But if you place it in cool water and slowly turn up the heat, it won’t notice the danger. The temperature rises gradually, imperceptibly. And the frog stays.
I can’t help wondering whether something similar has happened to us.
Not physically. Emotionally.
Around 2009, the world shifted. The smartphone was already in our hands. Social media began accelerating at scale. Remote access became normal. Speed became celebrated. Convenience became king.
Nothing dramatic happened overnight. There was no collective decision to become more disconnected. No announcement that conversation would become broadcast, or that friends would become followers.
It simply evolved.
Gradually, listening became a “like.”
Phone calls became texts.
Community became individualism.
Presence became performance.
And we adapted.
We told ourselves it was progress. It was called efficiency. It was framed as empowerment. And in many ways, it was. Technology has brought extraordinary good.
But beneath that good, something else was quietly warming.
Moments of invisibility.
The employee whose contribution goes unnoticed.
The client who feels processed rather than known.
The family member scrolling while sitting next to you.
The leader who feels isolated despite being constantly “connected.”
And this isn’t just emotional theory, it is commercial reality.
Research shows that
- A single moment of micro-exclusion, one incident where someone feels invisible, can trigger an immediate 25% decline in their performance (BetterUp)
- 44% of employees feel invisible at work (Workhuman UK)
- In the UK alone, disengagement now costs businesses £57 billion each year (Gallop)
So why are we not using the time AI gives us to show people they matter to us?
- 5% increase in customer retention can increase profits by between 25% and 95% (Bain and Co)
No one intended this. There was no villain in the story. This is not a technology problem.
It is a significance problem.
We stopped being deliberate about seeing one another.
And because it happened slowly, we normalised it. We stopped noticing the drift. The water warmed gently and we adjusted to it.
But humans are not built for emotional independence at scale. We are wired for co-regulation, for eye contact, for being known beyond our output. We need oxytocin, that bonding hormone that deepens trust and reminds us that we belong.
Instead, we have begun to equate self-containment with strength. The quiet rise of individualism tells us that needing less from others is wisdom, that protecting ourselves at all costs is empowerment.
And yet loneliness is rising. Disengagement is rising. Mental health challenges are rising.
The heat is rising.
The most dangerous thing about this shift is that it feels normal.
So perhaps this week the question isn’t, “How do we optimise the tools?” but something far more human.
Where have I drifted?
When did my listening become a reaction rather than a conversation?
Who in my world might feel unseen right now?
Because here is the hopeful truth: it is remarkably easy to turn the temperature down.
Start by your first interaction of the day – the person you wake with, the barista that makes you your coffee, the person who sells you a train ticket, every human interaction matters, not just to them, but also to you.
Create a habit of ‘significance’ – show people that they matter and perhaps we can all get back to meaningful relationships that stabilise our work, our lives and our loves.
This is not about rejecting technology. It is about reclaiming humanity within it.
We didn’t choose disconnection. We sleepwalked into it.
And we can wake up just as deliberately.
With love,
Penny x
p.s. If you’d like to receive my Ponderings by email each week, please subscribe here. You can unsubscribe at any time.
