By Penny Power – Business Author & Human-Centred Speaker
This week, I’ve been reflecting on something quietly powerful: the beliefs we inherit about how to communicate, how to behave, and how to protect ourselves in the world.
These weren’t just random rules. They were handed down with care, often with love, by parents and teachers who genuinely believed they were preparing us for life.
But here’s what I’ve come to understand:
The very things we were taught to suppress are exactly what the world, you and I, are now desperate for.
The Rules I Grew Up With
Let me share four beliefs I resisted as they were not right for me
- “Don’t be nosy.”
My mum would say this whenever I asked too many questions. It was meant to teach me manners, boundaries, and politeness. But what I heard was: Your curiosity about others is rude. Don’t pry. Don’t care too much.
- “Stop asking ‘why.'”
My teachers hated it. I was that child who couldn’t just accept an answer. I needed to understand what was beneath the facts. But instead of being encouraged, I was told I was difficult, disruptive, exhausting. (perhaps I was!)
- “You’re too sensitive.”
This one cut the deepest. I felt everything. I absorbed the emotions of everyone around me. And I was told, repeatedly, that this was a flaw. That I needed to toughen up. Very little time was given to me and I learned to self develop and coached myself from a young age. The danger of this was deep emotional independence.
- “Be stoic.”
I had Scottish parents. Post-war generation. Stiff upper lip. Keep calm and carry on. Don’t burden others with your problems. Don’t show your cracks. Survive, quietly, privately, alone.
These beliefs weren’t cruel. They came from a time when emotional restraint was survival. When community was assumed, not built. When work and tasks were transactional, when duty not love was their guide, and vulnerability was risk.
But that world is gone.
We are many generations on from my birth in 1964, and while smartphones and social media have disconnected us emotionally, our need to know we matter and are seen, to feel significant as more than ever now.
What I’ve Discovered: These “Flaws” Are Actually Superpowers
Over the past 40 years in business,, I’ve come to see these so-called weaknesses through an entirely different lens.
- Questions aren’t nosy. They show people they matter.
When I ask someone a question about their life, their business, their struggles, I’m not prying. I’m saying: I see you. You are significant. I want to understand you.
And here’s what I’ve learned: people are starving for this.
In a world of broadcast, likes, and surface-level connection, a genuine question is a gift. It opens a door. It invites depth. It creates trust.
And the way someone responds to a question? That tells me whether to go deeper or stay on the surface. It’s a beautiful dance of human connection.
- “Why” is one of the most powerful words in conversation.
It stops the “yes/no” trap. It opens curiosity. It deepens understanding.
“Why does that matter to you?”
“Why did you choose that path?”
“Why are you excited about this?”
These questions don’t challenge. They honour the person, they say: Tell me more. Your story matters, you matter.
- Sensitivity isn’t a weakness. It’s empathy. It’s compassion.
Yes, I feel deeply. I absorb the emotions in a room.
But sensitivity has been my strength in leadership, the very thing that allows me to build community. To create spaces where people feel seen. To notice when someone is struggling before they even say it.
Empathy is a business superpower. It builds trust. It deepens relationships. It turns strangers into friends, and friends into lifelong advocates.
- I am resilient. I am courageous. But I don’t pretend my life is perfect.
Stoicism served my parents’ generation. But it’s created a modern epidemic of loneliness.
I’ve learned that resilience isn’t about suffering in silence. It’s about being honest when life is hard, and trusting that vulnerability deepens connection rather than diminishes it. Everyone wants to contribute, it makes us feel we have something to give, beyond the transaction, we also matter. It is so kind to let someone in and allow them your trust.
When I share openly, at the right moment, about the challenges I’ve navigated, the pain I’ve felt, the transformation I’ve been through… people don’t think less of me.
They lean in. They have permission to open up. They trust me more.
Because they recognise their own truth in mine.
The World Has Changed. And So Must We.
We live in a time of profound disconnection.
Technology has given us speed, efficiency, and reach. But it’s also stripped away the very things that make us human: presence, curiosity, vulnerability, and depth.
People are lonelier than ever. Business owners feel isolated. Employees feel like cogs. Clients feel like numbers.
And yet… beneath all of this, there is a quiet, powerful hunger.
A hunger for real conversation.
A hunger to be seen, not just liked.
A hunger to matter to someone.
The beliefs we were taught, “don’t ask too many questions,” “don’t be sensitive,” “stay strong,” “don’t burden others”, were meant to keep us safe.
But now? They’re keeping us lonely.
So Here’s My Invitation to You
This week, I’d love you to pause and reflect:
What beliefs did you inherit about communication, emotion, and connection?
Perhaps from your parents, your teachers, your culture, or the era you were born into.
Which of those beliefs are still serving you… and which are quietly blocking the connections you long for?
What if the very thing you were taught to hide is actually your greatest gift?
Your curiosity. Your sensitivity. Your questions. Your honesty.
And what might become possible if you tested the water?
If you asked one more question.
If you shared one honest truth.
If you let yourself care a little more openly.
Because here’s what I know, after 28 years of building communities and deep relationships in business:
The world doesn’t need to be more polished.
It needs to be more real.
The world doesn’t need to be more stoic.
It needs to be more human.
And the people around you? They’re not waiting for you to be perfect.
They’re waiting for you to be you.
p.s. If you’d like to receive my Ponderings by email each week, please subscribe here. You can unsubscribe at any time.
